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Being in my third year at McGill, I am in the position of having acquired a lot of knowledge in the classroom yet having little opportunity to grapple with this information outside of the academic setting. In the classroom, there is always a detailed set of tasks and steps on what to do next, and while I received copious support from all the amazing people at the Participatory Cultures Lab (PCL), the Lab environment fostered a level of autonomy that while challenging, was explicitly what I searched for and drew me to being a research intern. Furthermore, due to my degree I am no stranger to social studies and how structural barriers around communities often bleed into interpersonal, especially gendered relationships. For this reason, I was especially drawn to the Pathways To Equity internship posting at the PCL, as my academic trajectory, scholarship, and extracurricular work has been dedicated to women focused work and understanding marginalized communities experiences.聽

My host organization, Participatory Cultures Lab, is a research lab at McGill university dedicated to utilizing girl-informed, and arts based, participatory research methodologies to help young girls in Canada and abroad tackle gender-based violence in their community. My research focused on Pathways To Equity and More than Words, which focus on young Indigenous boys and men in Canada, and how they are tackling and unlearning toxic masculinity. During the months of May to July, I was tasked with building upon the lab鈥檚 approximately 15-page literature review on Healthy Masculinity Programming by and for Indigenous communities in Canada. These programs provide young boys and men, between the ages of 8 - 18, the knowledge and access to resources necessary to address their personal (physical, mental and emotional) health challenges, and develop skills to navigate interpersonal relationships with other men and importantly women. Through this work I was able to see and understand how important it is to consider boys and men and their relationship to the patriarchy when dealing with feminism鈥檚 aim of protecting women and the tangible ways that dismantling harmful masculinities in men can better equip them to be partners in women鈥檚 lives. By the end of my internship the review was nearly 50 pages long and provided a comprehensive overview of the pillars of healthy masculinity programming, highlighted gaps in the literature on facilitating such programs, and presented a unique framework on facilitation to understand how facilitation can be used for the social benefit and autonomy of Indigenous and other marginalized communities.

Completing the literature review was the primary highlight of my internship, as it was the culmination of two and a half months of rigorous transcription, research, interviewing a key project partner, and extensive analysis to create a review that was both grounded in existing community endeavors and academic literature on a limited field. Beyond the work I produced, the activities I participated in - the two-day 鈥淭ransform鈥� event, where researchers from various backgrounds and organizations came together to discuss the work they do, and our intern field trip to the 鈥淓choes of a Proud Nation鈥� Pow Wow at Kahnawake- were inspiring and left a long-lasting impression on me. Transform was enriching because on the second day we hosted a discussion panel with Indigenous Youth from Eskasoni that illuminated the importance of youth spaces, voices, and how to work not just with but for marginalized communities. Subsequently, during our visit to the Pow Wow, I was immersed and enamored by the beautiful cultural rites, practices, dances, community building, and craftsmanship on display.

As I mentioned earlier, the autonomy of working at a research lab was both an appeal of this internship, but also a challenge. At the beginning, I was constantly nervous about whether I was doing a good job and did not really have confidence in my skills as a researcher. However, I overcame this by thoroughly immersing myself in my research- asking questions and seeking out resources such as books, articles, and existing content produced by the PCL to integrate into my research, and consistently coming into the office three times a week, five hours a day. This dedication paid off as I was met with continuous positive feedback and encouragement from my supervisors on the creativity and depth of analysis of my research. While I am not receiving academic credits for my internship, I want to thank the Morris and Rosalind Goodman Family Foundation for their generous support of the Goodman Family Arts Internship Award, whose contributions gave me a fantastic internship experience and gave me the platform to utilize the various skills I have learned during my degree, broaden my perspective, and deepen my understanding of positive transformative community focused research.